NOTE: I didn’t share the things my co-worker said to me the other night. The things I was putting in quotes were what people said to me in response to wanting to take action against him.

The things he said were terrible, the worst thing anyone could ever say to me, but I can’t share them yet, until I know more about what’s going to happen next.

Idk, I just didn’t want people think this whole thing was about me being devastated by “We aren’t going to get justice” because “Life’s not fair”. Unfortunately, I’m told that a lot, so I usually have no reaction to it. :-/

If you are a survivor:

I support you. I believe you. I don’t question what triggers you or your response to those triggers. These are authentic statements from me, and they will never not be true.

*please save this and look at it when the world starts closing in because your family, friends, or workplace don’t/won’t understand.

I don’t think I have ever been more disgusted and discouraged regarding the treatment of survivors than I am today.

How people belittle, dismiss, and and turn us into hysterical people that need to be sedated. How people can tell us that “we aren’t going to get justice” because ”life isn’t fair”.

If someone almost died in a fire, they might very likely be triggered by  the sight or smell of campfires, by someone pulling out a lighter for a cigarette… People would empathize. They might not fully understand, but they’d try, and they’d give the survivor the benefit of the doubt. The’d be gentle and respect that person’s boundaries.

If you’ve been the victim of sexual assault, then tough luck. You’re on your own.

That’s how you’re treated. That’s how I’m being treated right now. That’s the reality and it makes me want to burn everything to the ground.

I am not making things up. I am not overreacting. What this guy did was wrong, way out of line. I don’t care if “he didn’t know I was a survivor”. He shouldn’t have said the things he said to anyone. He should have the pay. The company should have to pay. I should get justice. I shouldn’t have to go back to work there and it should be understood why I can no longer go back there. I should get to tell everyone his name, the company’s name, and everything else that I want, without fear of getting sued myself, because it’s all he said/she said.

But that’s not the world we live in. We live in a world where the company is protected, this guy is protected, and I’m not.

I am torn up inside, and I don’t see this going away anytime soon.

Does anyone have any recommendations for free legal advice in the areas of hostile work environment and/or sexual harassment? I live in the LA area, but if I can be done via email or a phone call then anywhere works.

derekgmc:

feminishblog:

blackgirlsrpretty2:

it’s not your job to entertain him by sending him nudes

it’s not your job to satisfy him sexually because he’s horny

you are not required to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or that you don’t want to do

don’t be scared of “losing him”

he most likely wasn’t anything worth keeping

This was me for the longest time. I felt obligated to do whatever he asked. 

Seriously, commin from a guy, if a guy demands all that shit and for you to bow down to his every command, dump the cunt, find a real man.

Hey derekgmc, it sounds like you are actually trying to be helpful and supportive, so I want address what you said, and why it’s really not helping anyone:

You clearly don’t understand what it’s like to be in that position, so please don’t speak to it. You sound just like the people who say “Why didn’t she just leave?” to the woman in a DV relationship. Sometimes it’s not that easy, and not that simple. Saying things like that not only doesn’t help, it actively hurts and inflames situations.

Another thing - calling a dude a gendered slur used against women… also not cool. You are once again, hurting women.

Lastly, that “real man” talk is like a scapegoat for ignoring issues. The men that treat women this way are in fact real men. They aren’t ghosts or aliens, they aren’t made up. Real (shitty) men are hurting real women. Don’t support it by continuing to make the comments you’ve made.

A user named gageb69 is messaging me about how pedophiles don't hurt anyone. WTF? Can you please warn people about this user?

TW: Pedophilia

Sure thing! Can you give readers a head’s up of how you came into contact with him? For example, is he just randomly messaging people trying to trigger, or is there a certain tag he’s invading?

(I’d also recommend reporting him to tumblr admins with receipts of those messages)

blackgirlsrpretty2:

it’s not your job to entertain him by sending him nudes

it’s not your job to satisfy him sexually because he’s horny

you are not required to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or that you don’t want to do

don’t be scared of “losing him”

he most likely wasn’t anything worth keeping

This was me for the longest time. I felt obligated to do whatever he asked. 

(via kilgore-doubt)

You don't like porn. so what? Are you saying others shouldn't enjoy porn? how arrogant!!

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