For Me, For You, For Anyone Who Needs It

feminishblog:

His not making fun of you for having to pee every three seconds after drinking soda…

… does not excuse his abuse.

His ability to appreciate and join in on your silly bits, voices, and characters…

… does not excuse his abuse.

His similarly high standards for tastes in movies and television…

… does not excuse his abuse.

His ability to hold you as your cry your eyes out dry…

… does not excuse his abuse. Especially when the reason you’re crying is usually because of him.

His taking you out to lunch in hopes you’ll forget how badly he treated you the night before, and instead remember how he doesn’t make fun of you for having to leave the table to pee after your first sip of that soda…

… does not excuse his abuse.

Nothing does.

Holy shit I was just talking to my dad on the phone and accidentally said “fucked up” and my heart stopped.

Hello Victoria! I've been absent for some time due to real life stuff and am slowly catching up on your blog again but I saw the post you made about standing up to your coworker and I'm so... IDK if proud is the right word given that we don't know each other and my opinion isn't important, but I'm looking up to you so much and am happy you stood up to him! ~ Myrin (who will get her own tumblr soon and if you want to, we can talk more often then?)

Hello lovely Myrin! You always seem to have a knack for messaging me after I’ve thought about you - I’m glad you did! And your opinion most certainly is important to me.

I hope all of the real life stuff that has kept you away is smoothing itself out and you are in a good place, heart and mind. <333

Not that it matters really bc it's your choice to define yourself how you want, but what are they even talking about? The definition for queer is just anyone who is homosexual? Like not everything in the lgbt movement only belongs to gay men.

Yeah, I saw that he reblogged again just now, adding that only gay men can reclaim queer because it’s a slur that has only been used against gay men, like…. whhhhhaaaat? How do you get off believing that?

And he insists on calling me a lesbian which is really insulting, not because there is anything wrong with being a lesbian (obviously), but because I am not a lesbian. Glad he knows way more about my complex journey to my found sexuality than I do. Sure saves me a lot of time from thinking for myself!

mc-totally-rad:

feminishblog:

Why does West Hollywood belong solely to white cis gay men?

Where are all the hangouts for queer gals? We need to congregate somewhere…

You aren’t queer. You’re a lesbian, or pansexual/bisexual. Queer is used against gay men. The definition is gay man. Just sayin

Wow. Thanks for telling me what my identity is and is not. I’ll return the favor: You’re an asshole.

I am queer.

That’s my decision, not yours. I didn’t call you queer, I prescribed that label to myself and myself only, thoughtfully I might add.

gtfo.

-A queer gal-

Why does West Hollywood belong solely to white cis gay men?

Where are all the hangouts for queer gals? We need to congregate somewhere…

feministbecky:

misandry-mermaid:

genderlessalien:

misandry-mermaid:

Cat calling in a nutshell (via Huffpo)

Possible causes for such a situation to happen.
a) “Catcaller” was asshole
b) “Catcaller” didn’t know how to communicate with people
c) Facial expressions may have caused “Catcaller” to be triggered.
d) Victim didn’t like to take compliments (Being called beautiful is not sexually suggestive and thus isn’t really a catcall) and didn’t thank for a simple compliment, leading to an enraged reaction from the “Catcaller”. 
e) Victim was an asshole and did something in the silence. 
f) “Catcaller” was under the influence of a substance

1. Fuck
2. You

3. Straight
4.To
5. Hell

A.) Cat caller was an asshole. (Spoiler Alert: You&#8217;re gonna be 1/6)
B.) Cat caller showed he knew how to communicate&#8230; and intimidate, and puff his chest in attempt to show dominance, and react in a inappropriate way that demonstrated an entitlement over women, their time, and attention.
C.) Victim did nothing to &#8220;trigger&#8221; the cat caller.  Triggers are actually something very serious, and should be treated as such. To equate triggers with the garbage you claim was &#8220;triggering&#8221; is insulting to survivors. If someone not responding to your unwanted commentary sends you into a violent rage, then maybe you should stay off the streets and never talk again?
D.) Victim doesn&#8217;t owe anyone a reaction or response to something that clearly was not a compliment if it turned so hateful in a micro-second. This quick shift showed the true colors thinly masked in the original statement. Cat callers don&#8217;t need to tell women what they think of their looks. We know we&#8217;re great. We don&#8217;t need your commentary&#8230; and we don&#8217;t want it.
E.) Victim was the victim. Look at the fucking power dynamics. She is guilty of existing in public as a woman. And that makes her an asshole in your eyes, because how could she not want some random guy talking about her looks, but trust me, we can&#8217;t win if we grin and bear it, if we flip you off and try to hurry away. Either way, we lose. We&#8217;re terrible. We were leading them on. How. DARE. Us.
F.) Cat caller had no excuse for his actions or words. Alcohol falls under that category of no excuse. Stop victim blaming.
Now go run off an call me a bitch, and demonstrate just how &#8220;triggered&#8221; and &#8220;provoked&#8221; you are.

feministbecky:

misandry-mermaid:

genderlessalien:

misandry-mermaid:

Cat calling in a nutshell (via Huffpo)

Possible causes for such a situation to happen.

a) “Catcaller” was asshole

b) “Catcaller” didn’t know how to communicate with people

c) Facial expressions may have caused “Catcaller” to be triggered.

d) Victim didn’t like to take compliments (Being called beautiful is not sexually suggestive and thus isn’t really a catcall) and didn’t thank for a simple compliment, leading to an enraged reaction from the “Catcaller”. 

e) Victim was an asshole and did something in the silence. 

f) “Catcaller” was under the influence of a substance

1. Fuck

2. You

3. Straight

4.To

5. Hell

A.) Cat caller was an asshole. (Spoiler Alert: You’re gonna be 1/6)

B.) Cat caller showed he knew how to communicate… and intimidate, and puff his chest in attempt to show dominance, and react in a inappropriate way that demonstrated an entitlement over women, their time, and attention.

C.) Victim did nothing to “trigger” the cat caller.  Triggers are actually something very serious, and should be treated as such. To equate triggers with the garbage you claim was “triggering” is insulting to survivors. If someone not responding to your unwanted commentary sends you into a violent rage, then maybe you should stay off the streets and never talk again?

D.) Victim doesn’t owe anyone a reaction or response to something that clearly was not a compliment if it turned so hateful in a micro-second. This quick shift showed the true colors thinly masked in the original statement. Cat callers don’t need to tell women what they think of their looks. We know we’re great. We don’t need your commentary… and we don’t want it.

E.) Victim was the victim. Look at the fucking power dynamics. She is guilty of existing in public as a woman. And that makes her an asshole in your eyes, because how could she not want some random guy talking about her looks, but trust me, we can’t win if we grin and bear it, if we flip you off and try to hurry away. Either way, we lose. We’re terrible. We were leading them on. How. DARE. Us.

F.) Cat caller had no excuse for his actions or words. Alcohol falls under that category of no excuse. Stop victim blaming.

Now go run off an call me a bitch, and demonstrate just how “triggered” and “provoked” you are.

Have you heard "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor? I was told it's supposed to encourage body positivity, but the lyrics seem to suggest body positivity, at least in part, because "... men like more booty to hold at night." Can that ~really~ be called body positivity?

I actually just submitted a pitch to an online publication to write about that very topic. if they end up not picking it up, I’ll surely write about that more here, buuuuut hopefully it gets picked up and I can just link you to it then! :-)