I always had it in my head that I started Feminish around November of 2011, but maybe that’s not true? Or maybe I grabbed the url, but didn’t jump in until that time that I’m recalling. Also a possibility. I may never know, but nevertheless: Happy Birthday to the blog, and thank you to everyone who has been so involved and supportive… for however long it’s been up and running! <333

I always had it in my head that I started Feminish around November of 2011, but maybe that’s not true? Or maybe I grabbed the url, but didn’t jump in until that time that I’m recalling. Also a possibility. I may never know, but nevertheless: Happy Birthday to the blog, and thank you to everyone who has been so involved and supportive… for however long it’s been up and running! <333

Anonymous: Thoughts on female pedophile Lauren Morris? Is it true she was supported by the feminist community?

Literally the only person I know who came out in support of her was actingdelusionaleigh (formerly dropmycumberbritches). I made several posts speaking out about her last week. The whole thing is sick, and actingdelusionaleigh has done/continues to do so many things that do not align with feminism at all. It’s unfortunate that she labels herself as such because she is essentially everything that is wrong with everything, and she continues to hurt people. Since it became so huge on tumblr, people assume her thoughts align with feminism, when they are truly the anti-thesis.

Anonymous: Favorite male comedians?? (love you and your blog so much!!)

Thank you. :-)

My favorite male comedians are Hannibal Buress, Hari Kandabolu, Eddie Izzard, and although he doesn’t do stand-up like the others, Richard Ayoade.

Anonymous: So ignoring all the other problems associated with radical feminism, what do you think of radical feminism's anti-make-up/anti-"girly culture" position? Do you believe that men forced these ideas of femininity on women/that they should be resisted?

I think it’s silly to pretend the culture of make-up isn’t wrapped up in warped expectations for female beauty. It’s a whole (likely male-run) empire centered around us feeling shit about ourselves. Don’t believe me? Think about how acceptable it is for a man to have one or two blemishes on their face, but how a woman is instantly “ugly” or “gross” because of it, and naturally expected to cover it up.

And then there is the illusion of the no make-up make-up look. Funnily enough, a lot of work goes into making it look like you’re not anything, and when they say they want a girl who wears a “natural look” with “not a lot of make-up”… they aren’t talking about a fresh and clean face, they are talking about the no make-up make-up look, and they may not even know it. That’s how powerful and influential the beauty industry is.

Now, I don’t see anything wrong with make-up if somebody wants to wear it. I’m certainly not anti-make-up or anti-femininity, and I don’t believe in bullshit claims associating femininity with frailness - that’s just flat out misogyny right there. Make-up can be a fun form of expression when it’s not something you feel assigned to. With that being said, I don’t think wearing make-up is inherently feminist. It’s simply a personal choice. 

And then there is the matter of red lipstick. We hear men’s polarized opinions about red lipstick incessantly - how it’s either “so sexy” or “so over the top, in your face, and obnoxious”. I say whatever to the men who think it’s sexy, and when I hear that men don’t like it, that makes me want to wear it more often. So along those lines, I do think wearing “unnatural” or stand-out colors of make-up, like having black, bright purple or blue lipstick could be considered radical in some ways. It’s like Fuck you. I don’t care what you think, this is all for me. I don’t care if it packs a punch, because so do I!

feedmyaddictionnow:

kingofwesteros:

Publicity done right in an anti-rape campaign: double-page spread, pages glued to one another. After the reader forcefully separates them, the image above is revealed with the caption “if you have to use force, it’s rape”.

THIS IS BRILLIANT

Sometime I get concerned that people only take to understanding what is literally in front of them - so here, they might take away or infer that physical force is the only from of rape.
But with that being said, I do really appreciate the power of this message. I imagine it sticks with the reader for a long time, and hopefully starts a dialogue.

feedmyaddictionnow:

kingofwesteros:

Publicity done right in an anti-rape campaign: double-page spread, pages glued to one another. After the reader forcefully separates them, the image above is revealed with the caption “if you have to use force, it’s rape”.

THIS IS BRILLIANT

Sometime I get concerned that people only take to understanding what is literally in front of them - so here, they might take away or infer that physical force is the only from of rape.

But with that being said, I do really appreciate the power of this message. I imagine it sticks with the reader for a long time, and hopefully starts a dialogue.

(via slutgrrrlinternational)

feminishblog:

fandrunk:

feminishblog:

The absence of an enthusiastic yes, is a no.

The absence of an informed yes, is a no.

The absence of a sober yes, is a no.

The absence of a response, is a no.

The existence of coercion, is a not a yes.

The existence of manipulation, is a not a yes.

The existence of guilt, is a not a yes.

A no is always a no. A yes is only a yes if it stands up by itself, without force or persuasion of any kind.

ok but like 

The tags attached to fandrunk’s “ok but like” commentary are:

  • - there’s so many other factors
  • who the fuck sits down in the middle of hooking up to sign a contract that says yes i want this sex
  • - if the person having sex with you isnt aware that you dont want to because you wont say no thats not really rape sorry

I’m sharing that, because I don’t want things to get lost in translation. I don’t want people to think I’m taking issue with “ok but like”. Anyway…

Fandrunk, you also reblogged a post to your page that says if you ever do or say something problematic to call you the fuck out. So that’s what I’m doing. But this isn’t just “problematic”, this is rape apologism. This is the kind of thing that allows rapists to slip through the cracks, allows rapists to continue believing that they are not, in fact, rapists.

If someone is so out of tune with their partner that they can’t tell or don’t see their partner does not want to have sex with them, then they probably aren’t mature enough to be having sex. And even when they have a consenting partner, they probably aren’t having good sex, because they are not willing to communicate. But I digress. We’re talking about rape, not sex…

You’ve turned this notion of having secure consent into a joke with likening it to the chore of “signing a contract”. It’s not a joke. It’s not optional. It’s not an extra curricular. And once again, maybe it’s a maturity thing, but if you are going to be sexually active, you should always be checking in with your partner. And if you are making excuses for people who don’t, or simply can’t be bothered to, then that’s rape.

A rapist can’t be bothered by asking for consent, because they don’t actually care about getting it. By not asking, by not checking in with their partner, or even caring if their partner wants to proceed, they are “blurring the lines” and obtaining the excuse: but they didn’t tell me no, or they seemed fine. The reality of the matter is, there are no blurred lines, just rapists who want people to believe that so they can continue getting away with it.

And for people who think it’s all an innocent misunderstanding, think about this: If you aren’t sure your partner absolutely wants to have sex with you, why on earth would you want to proceed?

feminishblog:

If you feel that someone is being abusive to you, it is not an overreaction to tell them. It’s not even an overreaction to just flat-out end it and leave. You are worth nothing short of love and respect. If you are in a relationship where you aren’t getting that from someone, then that someone doesn’t deserve you.

They don’t deserve your time or your tears.

You don’t deserve the abuse.

feminishblog:

I couldn’t do anything right, and that included breathing. Something about it had to be wrong.

^^^ How it clicked for me that I was in an abusive relationship.