What I've Observed

What I’ve Observed

I’m a young feminist. But, I feel like a total contradiction-I love to bake and cook, I constantly groom, and I have a love of fashion and interior design. However, I realized my “feminism” has come into full force over the past few days. I am quite frustrated because upon my parents discovering I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of over a year, I became a “victim”. Our parents were more upset with my boyfriend for lying than they were at me, but everyone (his parents and mine) kept asking if I felt pressured or desperate. Why is it that in order to have sex, a girl has to be either a slut, which I clearly am not,or a victim? I’m not a victim. I don’t despise myself for my actions. I was responsible, I love my boyfriend, he loves me, and I intend to keep our relationship as honest and trusting as it ever has been. Sex hasn’t changed us the way society and our education system wanted me to believe. I was very hesitant to take the next step with him, but I realized it was only due to this social construct of how a girl has to stay “pure” in order to be a good person. I still feel like a great person. I am a great person. Sex didn’t change that. In fact, I think that despite this tough time, I am strong and support my decisions, so maybe in a way, becoming “less pure” actually made me someone I respect a little bit more. Just my thoughts. By the way, I adore your blog, especially how it isn’t “man hating”.

All the best

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I want to leave your submission as is, because it is strong and speaks for itself. However, I feel compelled to tell you that just because you like cooking, fashion, design, etcetera, doesn’t mean you are a hypocrite, as long as you truly enjoy them - and it sounds like you do. It would only be problematic if you were forced to cook and clean, or felt pressured into being into fashion and design in order to fit the role of stereotypical female. :-)