Anonymous asked: I need advice. I am a proud feminist but I get really insecure because everyone around me says I'm "manly" I don't know what to do i certainly don't want to change myself but it does tend to get in the way when i try talking talking to guys they seem intimidated like if they're not the one in control. I don't know what to do.
Well first off, I personally find effeminate men/masculine women to possess crazy amounts of sexy. And I love androgyny. These are very true statements. Just wanted to get that in there. Moving on…
If you don’t want to change yourself, then don’t. I know that probably sounds oversimplified, but if you make changes or alterations to yourself based off of what you think other people want, you’ll never be happy. There will always be something to change, alter, or “make better”.
With regards to the guys being intimidated, I. Not sure how old you are, but often that is just a phase in growing up that says more about them then it does about you. If you are interested in one of these guys romantically. But if he seems genuinely putt-off with intimidation, he’s definitely not worth your time. I’m not even saying that just to be nice or make you feel better. He’s really not worth your time. You want to be surrounded by people that accept you for who you are and however you are.
I might suggest trying to soften that feeling you get when you feel like you are intimidating a guy, so it turns in to confidence instead of security. Take pride in it. You could also turn it around and use it to your advantage to feel sexy and empowered even. An extreme example of what I mean would be a dominatrix. I’m not saying role-play this persona in you every day life, but think about the empowering and sexuality fueled similarities between a dominatrix and what you’ve explained your situation to be. I think you could be pleasantly surprised with the results. :-)
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