status-is-not-quo asked: First of all, thank you for this blog, it's wonderful. Secondly, I was wondering what your thoughts were on the whole, "guys should never hit girls" idea, partially in terms of relationships. I don't like the idea that if a guy hits a girl in any way, it is automatically abuse, yet we are shown portrayals of women slapping men who have wronged them, and that's okay. It makes me uncomfortable, but I have a difficult time disagreeing with that without feeling like I'm condoning domestic violence.
You aren’t condoning domestic violence, you’re just demanding equality. Domestic violence is domestic violence, no matter man on woman; on woman; on man - does not matter.
I don’t think that just because a man hits a woman it should be considered domestic violence. If he has initiated the incident, and is intentionally harming or intimidating her, then yes, that is domestic violence. However, if a woman hits a man (whether in a relationship or otherwise acquainted, no matter slap or punch), he may need to defend himself to stop her. If he is stronger than her, then he should restrain her from pursuing any further blows, but obviously not take advantage of the situation or her being restrained. If he is weaker than her however, he may need to try and fight back, and that’s just plain self-defense.
I do think in a relationship though, the stronger half of the couple needs to be mindful of their strength so as to not harm their partner, whether they are playing around, or in the heat of the moment mid-argument. For example, if the female is weaker in this situation, and she slaps her male partner out of frustration, that is not acceptable, but it also not a green light to warrant him punching her.
As you can see, things get gray and sticky real fast, and I hope you were able to follow these example situations without much confusion. Ideally people would just not strike each other, but it does happen, and there are many different circumstances and scenarios that it may occur under. It is completely wrong to assume that any man who hits a woman is the attacker or instigator, but if he takes advantage of the situation, with the safety net that she struck first, that’s also not ok. Women on the other hand, should not think they can get away with hitting a man because of the sole fact that they are female. However, if they are legitimately being attacked, they have every right to fight back and the attacker deserves any damage that they may sustain.
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